So I'm standing in a large crowd, the size of the world. In the center a child is presented and a voice says, "Who will take this child in? Who will give this child a chance at life?" A small murmur goes through the crowd. Much like everyone else, I'm looking left and right, standing on my toes to glimpse behind me and over people to see who would be making their way forward. A long pause, then the crowd starts to disperse. I'm getting confused. I'm thinking, "Wait, this is important, where is everyone going?" I step closer and gaze at the lone child standing in the center so very, very alone. I look around desperately. Who is going to come forward? Where is his savior? I look again at the child and realize I'm the only one left. So I step forward and say, "I will. I will take him and make him part of our family."
At least that's how I pictured it while having my daily book-writing-in-my-head while in the shower. It was a very startling realization to feel God was calling me to do something in the middle of the night, not in the least ready to take on something like adopting a child from CHINA with zero funding! Something impossible!
Well, it just so happens that impossible is one of my favorite things to conquer.
It has already been an interesting year. We were on the brink of being debt-free forever and moving up financially. Before I ever made that first huge payment I was laid off from my job. This was 75% of our total income! Because Chanz, my son, requires so much time and attention and I refuse to put him in daycare, job options are limited and we made the impossible decision that I would stay home and take care of things here. We couldn't afford it, but here we go! And you know what? We have survived. We're fed, have a roof over our heads, and we're all happy.
What a difference it makes in our lives when it's God's will!
So here we are scraping by, trying to adjust our new way of living when I saw the plea for "Wesley", a child in China at risk for aging out of the orphanage. He already had a super family trying to adopt him but it wasn't working out. There was no one left! My heart was beating fast as that small, familiar echo of "YOU" started to rise from my spirit. "ME? ME! You're kidding, right? I can't even afford to get a pedicure, so... I'm going to bed".
And I didn't sleep a wink.
FOR THREE NIGHTS.
I finally said, "Ok God. You win. You know my weakness is sleep. Please let me sleep, I'll adopt the boy! No idea how, but I know you'll make it happen!"
And so, here we are.
Now don't get me wrong, we are not in the poorhouse. We have had to figure out how to live on a smaller budget and when you're used to buying whatever you want, whenever you want, well.. it's hard. I have the utmost confidence that we'll be back on our feet in no time. I've already been inspired to start a home-based business, but I'll expound on that at a later date.
For now, my cup is over flowing. I'm so excited at the prospect of having an older brother for Chanz, someone to play with him and take the lead, as well as having a family of 4! I can now say "Let's take the kids..." instead of "kid". I have a really good feeling about all of this and I can say it's because I know my Lord's voice. I know when He speaks into my life and that makes things so much easier and brighter!